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i cant find you

October 20, 2010

i moved back to new york. i didnt want to. i didnt even mean to.

i ended up here after working free lance for people’s revolution for 2 weeks. they offered me a job and gave me a place to live and i couldnt say no. so i said yes, and then appropriately went outside, called my mommy and cried my face off like a baby.

i loved living in la. i was finally back with my family. my life was mellow and my time was spent solely with those i adored. but it was a nice vacation from the reality that there are necessary steps i need to take to further my existence. i have too much energy  to not be working full time, and the universe brought me back here to finish up some unfinished business. this was an opportunity for me to really jump start my career. my fantasy of being around my family and thinking that things will “fall into place” for me career-wise was a bit naive.  i’m almost 24, now is the time for me to be working 12 hours a day. while this new job is currently my life, im going to keep my work separate from this blog. im working here to learn and grow and for no other reason.

its weird how only 6 months away from new york allowed my relationship with this city to change so drastically. new york and i were in a huge fight before i left. now we are coming to terms with our differences. i also realized that when i leave the god damn east village and venture out from the 3 restaurants and 2 bars i went to i allow myself to gain a much better appreciation for this place. i miss home. i miss my dog and my friends, but in la i am able to hide from everything. i was hiding from growing up and i was hiding from a broken heart. i was given a do-over. so its time for me to do it right.

i dont like using iphone photos on this thing because i think its cheating – but considering all my film is in la and i havent had time to develop the 15 rolls i have in my room, this will have to do for now. i dont have any of things here, i’m living like a gypsy.

the following are images from outside lands in san francisco. i have lots more to say and a lot more photos coming but ive just been working too much to get it together. i will make a better effort from now on.

five of us hoped in a car and drove what should have taken 6 hours but took 8 from la to sf

cassia and chase are my everything. these girls have been my life in la. i miss them so much its not normal. my hair is purple if u cant tell. now its falling out from bleach damage. i shouldnt have done it by myself.

cassia also known as cass-hole

thats cassia and mary-beth who flew in from canada for the festival

these ladies love the strokes. id never really listened to much of their music. but they freaked.

chase is the biggest god damn hippie ive ever met. this is her gear on a daily basis

i got dirty

one of my closest friends from high school, austin,  lives in sf. i spent the last day and a half with her there

san fran is great but the whole squatter hippie liberal “lets talk about our differences” crap got a bit old for me.

later boners


4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 20, 2010 8:31 am

    finally an update! and a great update. but develop that film! i miss your photos.

  2. Jordan Bach permalink
    October 20, 2010 8:41 am

    soooo CULTY. love.

  3. Stephanie Mac. permalink
    October 22, 2010 8:43 am

    Can I just say ur my hero
    Ur life is so cool
    U have lived in both LA n NY while I’m stuck here in STINKY Florida
    Girl keep on writing ur winning:)

  4. Danny permalink
    October 28, 2010 5:39 pm

    you may be bedeviled in new york, but for the cig at house of vans i thank you.

    and you’re right iphone pictures are cheating .

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