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7th st all stars

January 28, 2010

alicia me zoe and boater. we used to shred so hard.

im sitting here alone in my empty apartment, the movers just left. i dont know why im so emotional about this move to la. besides the fact that im bicoastal anyway and paying for an apt here is no longer in my budget, im just not happy in new york anymore. regaurdless of all the horrible life shit ive gone through here, no matter how mad/sad i was i used to walk down the streets with a smile on my face because i was just so happy. to be honest when i got to ny over a week ago i was hoping that feeling would come back and i would find it in me to stay…but it didn’t. im angry and depressed here for some reason. i need to grow up and be with my family and start my career. i thought i was going to be here for so long, but after spending the amount of time i have in la the last 6 months, ive realized my family is more important than me trying to be cool. and while  leaving this social scene is something im very happy about, leaving this apartment is literally making me sick. i laughed and cried the hardest i ever have in this space. i fell in love and got my heart broken. i made horrible mistakes and great decisions. i parited really hard and i learned how to grow up and take responsiblilty. i skipped class and did shitty work and then and i produced the best work i ever have. alicia taught me how to take photos in this apt. we learned what it meant to be happy and we experienced a death. it was in this place that i learned who i want to be, and now its a matter of me becoming that person. perhaps ill move back one day, and new york will be a whole different city for me, but for now i need to attend arrobio sunday dinners, go on hikes with my friends and work my ass off. call me a pussy, a hipster, or say i didnt make it here because thats not the case…and unless your one of my friends i could give a shit what u think about me…your still spending your time reading about my life.  too many people are dying for me to continue living my life anywhere other than a place that fulfills my soul. although ill miss it, ill always have new york, because i dont think it will be going anywhere for a while.

to all my friends and to all my enemies, thank you. for the first time in my life im happy about who i am…and its because of all the lessons you taught me.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. torello permalink
    January 28, 2010 8:20 pm

    i am crying

  2. January 29, 2010 5:27 pm

    this is amazing. i dont know you, but i wish you good luck. never look back.

  3. augustus permalink
    January 29, 2010 6:26 pm

    You will do awesome things around here. I look forward to your postings and more of your great work 🙂

  4. January 29, 2010 7:21 pm

    Great blog you have here. I really dig this post!

  5. Samantha permalink
    January 29, 2010 7:30 pm

    Ya know what? I take it back. Very nice to see you understand the fake fake world you put yourself in at New York and that you’ve realized what is important, and have realized you became a bad person. Now go back to L.A.! This is a good thing. Congrats.

  6. January 31, 2010 1:02 am

    Pia I wish you the best,
    I really hope everything works out for you.
    I’ve always looked up to you!

    xo

  7. February 3, 2010 5:31 pm

    I feel you on ths Pia.. NY NY I’ve had a love hate relationship with it forever. but it does make us strong….but sometimes you need to seperate from it and see who you really are outside of it all.. Its like some abusive bf you cant kick the relationship with.. haha.. but your doing good don’t worry we are all just having experiences and thats what life is all about, growing.

    peace Stephanie

  8. sarah permalink
    February 7, 2010 7:44 pm

    Moving forward is freakin’ terrifying. The unknown is my biggest fear. I have absolute admiration for you because you have the courage and drive to move ahead.

    I wish you the best in the future.

    s

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