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and the battle continues

December 12, 2007

i blew it. ugh. i went out to dinner last night with my darling friend jordan at mangiami where my new friend van works. van is my age and hilarious and a very talented actor from miami, he super funny and makes me laugh. kids totally gonna blow up. anyway ive been trying my hardest to shed some pounds (i promise this is going somewhere), so ive basically been taking adderall, eating as little as possible and going jogging around the city. the key to this is not going out. alcohol is a BIG no no for me right now. i gain absolutely nothing from going out and drinking other than pounds. nothing. in fact, i normally wake up feeling like a pile. i havent been out in forever, so i figure going to get dinner would be a nice lil thing for me to do to get outta the house. i get to mangiami, having barely eaten all day, and order the salmon and a nice glass of red. i know im not supposed to be drinking but i refuse to deny myself red wine every now and then. im italian, that shit is in my blood. well one glass turned into 2 glasses, which turned into me pouring vans wine into my glass when he wasnt looking (a trick my mother taught me). at some point van then poured me a shot of patron, which i can take like its nothing (ive had a lot of practice). ugh im tipsy. jordan leaves to go to a party, spanky and lindsey call to say they are at the fish. greeeeat. i talk vans head off for like an hour and head over to the fish. before i know it neck face and i are doing shots, and im flirting with this dude ive had a crush on like its my job. cool. did i even pay for my drinks? shit, i just got on dans good side hope i didnt eff that up. man i used to drink every night this summer. i dont know how i did that. i could easily out drink many of my friends, and would wake up feeling just a lil shitty. now i drink barely a fraction of what i used to and feel HORRIBLE the next day. i had big plans today too. i was going to do my laundry, render my fashion illustrations for my final project for school (you have no idea how long that takes) and go on a run. at this point its almost 4 pm and im still in my pjs on my couch watching old episodes of the o.c. and 90210 thinking of all the stupid things i said last night. awesome. heres a picture of my father that makes me laugh. a1.jpg 

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